Sunday, September 18, 2016

The Adventure Of The Frogsloth, Entries Three and Four

Jreetings Gammers! (Gaaah! I'm turning into William Spooner! ... Google him. You'll get it.)

My scatterbrain spelling aside, I have news to impart to you. It has come to my attention that my Frogsloth stories are too short for a once-weekly post. Therefore I shall be posting two diary entries at a time. Hope you enjoy!

Dear Diary,
I'm very sorry I interrupted my story to answer the door like that.
It was only a salesman anyway, and I'm afraid he went away kind of mad. It was really his fault, I had the most terrible time getting his foot out of the door... And then I shut his tail in it by mistake.
Okay, so it was my fault. aj-emoji-oops  Anyways...
I spun around, yanked off the blindfold, and saw…
Nothing. Or at least, nothing besides the Koala who had led me here.
"Where's the Jammer I'm supposed to meet?" I was starting to get the sinking feeling that I had been betrayed.
"You're lookin' at him," the blue Koala said, taking off his Ninja Mask.
"WHAT??" aj-emoji-mad I was furious. "And you led me ALL this way, and took my Spiked Wristband, just so you could--"
"Make a fair trade? The wrist for the identity of the Frogsloth researcher? You got it.
You also happen to be very gullible. Who pays for something like that before delivery of the goods? I could've left you in the woods, just like that," he said, snapping his furry fingers.
I simmered down, a bit embarrassed. He was right.
"So why didn't you?"
"Because I want to find the Frogsloth as much as you. I'm just not gonna turn down a spike while I'm at it!"
Scammer, I thought, but held my tongue. I wanted to report him, but the fact was, it was my fault. I agreed to the trade, and nothing would get my item back.
Oh well. I would not let it go to waste.
"Then let's find it. Where do we start?"
"Sarepia Forest. Go back far enough, you hit a redwood swamp. We'll see if we find any traces there."
And now, Dear Diary, I will close this book until a later time.

Now for the second entry...

Dear Diary,
We are now three days deep in the redwood swamps of Sarepia Forest.
It has been extremely wet (and still is), but we have made camp on the trunk of an enormous tree that has fallen over, presumably in a storm many years ago.
I've managed to dry out your pages, and here I continue The Adventure Of The Frogsloth. (Do you like the title I've given our little expedition?)
It took long enough to find out my guide/fellow researcher/con man's name, but he finally revealed it was Lieutenant.
"Lieutenant what?" I asked, as we paddled a canoe through a buggy area. (And no, I do not mean glitches! You cannot imagine  the mosquitoes.)
"Just Lieutenant."
I swatted at a midge. "Why? Is it embarrassing? I have a great-uncle whose name is Baron Vontoes."
"Shh! What was that?" Lieutenant looked from left to right, trying to discern where the noise came from. "There it is again! Did you hear that?"
"No... hey, are you just trying to distract me?" But then, I heard it too. Through the trees came the unmistakable, slow call of the Frogsloth.
Rrrrrr... iiiiibb.. betttt...       Rrrrrr... iiiiibb.. betttt...
Lieutenant pulled a small wooden tube from under his Worn Blanket and blew into one end. A similar sound emanated.
Rrrrr... eeeeee... bittttt... 
"Uggggh," I cringed at the off-key imitation. "I think you're a little off there, Lieu-y."
"Be quiet and keep paddling. And don't call me Louie!"
I paddled... and paddled... and paddled...


  1. Length any better this time, guys? :P


  2. Hehe, I looked up William Spooner on Wikipedia. His "spoonisms" are so funny!

    Remember, God made YOU!

    1. "Mardon me, Padam, this pie is occupewed. May I sew you to another sheet?"




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